It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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