Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
They left me at home... I'm a liability
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
