new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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