Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
