"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize