I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
