You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
