She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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