Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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