Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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