it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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