Pappa wants mamma naked
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
