When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
