Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
