A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
