I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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