he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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