And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
