Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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