I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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