im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
