I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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