I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
