How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
