The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
