I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
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