I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
