What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
