:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
