their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
