i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
