I'm lost and stupid without you.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize