I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
