Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Randomize