i wish starbucks made bloody marys
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
