You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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