I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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