First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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