I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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