two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
