Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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