i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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