He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
These tits shall not be calmed
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize