Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
