just tell him i said nine months
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
