i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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