i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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