Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize