Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
