Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
