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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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