You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize