Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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