Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
where are my eyebrows?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
