i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
