i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
