My sheets look like a crime scene.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
