Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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