Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Of course I have a pirate flag
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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