the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
