How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
What drink are we having for lunch?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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