The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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