can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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