when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
