Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
