Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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