Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
