I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
