I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
