He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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