So drunk its hurt
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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