He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
