so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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