The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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