Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"

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(513): View more from Ohio

I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?

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(802): View more from Vermont

I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.

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(913): View more from Kansas

My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits

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(315): View more from New York

I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.

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(949): View more from California

Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.

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(812): View more from Indiana

You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you

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