if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
