you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
