Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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